Fixing What’s Broken

It’s been a while since my last post. A while meaning…all Summer. “Busy” is what I would choose to use to describe it. And maybe also words like “lazy,” “unsure,” “insecure,” and “indecisive.” But lately I’ve felt a challenge. God has been leading me, telling me to fix what is broken. Tonight I realized that in a really interesting way.

Here’s the story…

Little Jacer has his own incredibly vibrant personality, as I have shared in many posts. Today he was rocking his awesome fauxhawk at school. And during his Small Group time his amazing teachers guided him in making an awesome mask…what he proudly called his “Engine” (Ninja) Turtle mask. He was wearing his mask when we picked him up from school, sweaty and hot on the playground.

Rocking the fauxhawk and mask!

Rocking the fauxhawk and mask!

 

He talked about his mask all the way home, telling me how he was Michaelangelo (red…just in case you aren’t up on your Ninja Turtle trivia). I had to beg him to take it off when he went with me to the gym. And the minute we got home it was back on. He was so incredibly thrilled with that mask and proud of himself for having made it.

And then Mom did the unthinkable. 

Jace's masterpiece mask that Mommy broke

Jace’s masterpiece mask that Mommy broke

He was being a little twerp, and we were all laughing it up. He was teasing me about something, I honestly don’t remember what. And to get him back, I picked up my water bottle and squirted him RIGHT. IN. THE. FACE. So guess what happened. Jace started bawling because his mask was wet, reached up to take it off, and tore it in half. His bawling turned to screaming in anger at me for getting him wet. He ran to hide in the office. And that left me standing at the kitchen table with tears streaming down my face.

I had some options here like any mom would. Do I go hide in the bathroom and cry? Do I sit here and beat myself up about a paper mask? Those weren’t worthwhile options. Instead, I walked to the craft closet and drew a new mask. I walked to the office where he was hiding and began to cut it out. And suddenly there he was beside me, handing me half a cookie as a makeshift apology. Together we made a brand new mask, and before you know it there he was wearing the new mask with the same sense of joy as before (blue this time b/c Leo is the BOSS).

Jace's new Leo mask

Jace’s new Leo mask

My Granny always says “You can get happy in the same pants you got mad in.” Aren’t those true words of wisdom? Words that come to me as I type this story because they are words I need to remember. I have been pretty unhappy lately. I get frustrated with my work, annoyed with my kids, grumpy with my husband. I’ve been trying to live each moment, but I keep getting lost on the way. Tonight’s episode reminded me of what Ellen Miller talks about in her devotional book Inspirations for GirlfriendsThe entire devotional is about finding your joy – not happiness, but real joy! She states, “My joy must come from knowing that God’s agenda is greater than my own.” Somewhere I got lost in what I wanted, disappointed that those wants didn’t become realities. So now it’s time for me to mend what’s been broken. Refocus…re-prioritize…re-joyify!

Action Plan:

  • Post blogs regularly (weekly would be ideal)
  • Spend time in God’s word daily – finally finish the devotional book I have restarted 6 times in the last 3 years.
  • Do yoga daily…even if I don’t go to the gym.
  • Spend time in a good book each week.
  • Make time for crafting with and without my children.
  • Plan two fun “mom and the boys activities” per month (at least).
  • Call Granny and tell her I love her.
  • Catch up with my friends (you know who you are!).
  • Remember that the only one who can wreck my joy is me.

You will show me the way of life, granting me the joy of your presence and the pleasures of living with you forever. (Psalm 16:11)

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